Jeff Bridges and the Human Pig

The other day my partner called me a "human pig". Before you scream "abuse!" - He was not being trying to be mean, just funny. I'll explain.

We went to the Wigwam, which is this restaurant in Ladysmith that sells Chinese buffet and Vietnamese Pho. One day I will take a picture of the bathroom for you, so you can enjoy the strange visual feast that it is. It is tiled floor to ceiling with white tiles that have blue cornflowers on them. FLOOR TO CEILING. There is no inch of this bathroom left untiled. Presumably so you can just hose it down and the end of the day but it is evident that this bathroom has never been hosed down. The dust vent has so much grey, fuzzy gunge on it - it looks like a Chinchilla was sucked up there to its demise about 20 years ago. You get to look at this vent while you pee.

Anyway, the place-mats at this restaurant have the Chinese Zodiac signs on them. We discovered that my Chinese Zodiac sign is the pig and his is the rabbit. I made some joke about rabbits being horny and then he called me a human pig.

That night I dreamed there were many "human pigs" running around the earth. These creatures were horrible, not in the sense that they were mean or scary - but in the sense that they seemed totally, unbearably depressed. They walked around in herds with their heads down, looking scared and miserable and it was always raining on them. What's worse is that an evil circus director was constantly trying to capture them for his circus. I couldn't help them and I didn't want to because they were disgusting and miserable. Then there was this one human pig with the face of Jeff Bridges and for some reason he was stuck permanently in the "half moon" pose we do at hot yoga (see picture). This poor human pig was the only one that was able make me feel sorry for him. The circus director captured him moments before I woke up - but his face, which was the sad, sad face of Jeff Bridges - I remembered well. I could not erase it from my memory. So I drew a picture of him. The conte is a little heavy, and the human pig looks more like me than Jeff Bridges, but it's closer than I've gotten before to replicating a dream image, so it'll do. I hope there will be more, but there may not be.